My ever optimistic friend Callie invites me and a couple of friends to a launch party at her cool new job. It’s a Tuesday night so I’m obviously already mumbling about not wanting a late one, but I am trying to branch out and this could be a perfect place to meet eligible bachelors.
Anyway, who was I kidding! I mean what 30 something male is going to be at a party full of millennials?! 20 something year olds laughing and joking around is all very nice but when you have made an effort on a Tuesday night the least I would expect is the potential of a couple of men to even give us some flirty eye contact. But no eye contact here. After rinsing all the canapés and having a few proseccos, (would be rude not to) I’m on the way home at 8.30 looking forward to getting into my PJs (yes I know it’s no wonder I’m single.)
Getting off the northern line to change to my beloved central line I completely stack it into a unsuspecting man who breaks my fall and gives me a smile. As I’m not even a little bit tipsy I go bright red, smile back and scarper to the red line with my head down. Anyway, as fate would have it we end up on the same carriage! 2 seats away but both pretending we haven’t seen each other. Nearing my station and he gets up ….. I’m thinking this cannot be right?! No one gets off here! But as true as it looks he’s getting off at my stop, what are the chances?! He’s gets off first and as I follow he’s turns to me and says “watch your step” and gives me a cheeky grin! I obviously laugh back thinking this isn’t what happens to me, slash I’m in a rom com heavy! So he’s now walking in front of me, going in my direction, and not very fast. I’m now having to slow down which I’m not the best at, and walk casually and subtly behind him. At the point where I think I can’t walk any slower he turns around and starts chatting. Hallelujah there is a God, normal chat can happen without hours of swiping! After the standard what’s your name, where do you live banter, he quickly moves into the true rom com vibes that I live for. “So I was going to write on my business card next time I won’t be there to catch your fall”. At this point I’m smitten. He then gives me his business card and says text me. Well that’s it, I’ve met TO (the one) and I’m already planning our lives together.
Obviously my Mum is completely on board and Google’s him as soon as I tell the story. Turn’s our he’s an editor and has written about depression and the homeless, to topics dear to my heart, this couldn’t get better!
I spend the majority of the next day planning my message back and boring my colleagues to death with trying to find the perfect message, funny but not over the top, perfectly timed but of course effortless at the same time. I settle with ‘im not sure how I made it home without falling’ and a simple how was your day. He messaged straight back, none of the usual wait x amount of time to not be too keen, so I continue thinking I may be onto a winner!
We end up meeting 2 nights later for a casual drink around 9pm in a local pub. A small alarm bell rings that it’s quite a late drink but as I’m trying to be more breezy these days I go with it.
I have to run home pre date as I obviously spilled food down me in true me style, but manage to get there on time, having no idea what the night entailed!
It starts with him announcing he doesn’t drink, and I’m thinking your not gonna like me much as I like all the drinks!
Anyway within 5 minutes of sitting down I know his whole life story which goes like this:
1. 7 months sober, from alcohol and drugs and is at AA
2. Cheated on his last few girlfriends
3. Was a DJ who went on drug fuelled
4. Is on a journey, has found enlightenment and God
5. No longer has an ego
6. Quotes passages from the bible during the date and gives advise of how not be depressed (I’m not depressed just to clarify)
7. And most importantly doesn’t want a relationship
I have written this in a brief, to the point list to save you the intensity and length of what I endured for and hour and a half! Can’t get a word in edge ways and for those who know me this is not a usual occurrence, so when he finally took as breath I asked, ‘why have you asked me out if you are trying to recover and continue your journey to sobriety?’ And the I really was not expecting this answer! He says, oh I still want sex, and I have met a couple of girls recently that have been ok with no strings! To this I explain why I’m not sure that’s the best idea for his recovery, but he is adamant it’s the cure. He then proceeds to ask what the plan is for the rest of the night now and not so subtly drops in that he has a free house!! So there I am, on a date through an organic meeting, no swiping or messaging involved, where I thought I may have finally met my rom com ending – and turns out he has picked me up on the streets and basically done a booty call on me and still goes in for a kiss when I make my excuses to leave! He is most disappointed and weirdly surprised I don’t want to take him up on his offer calling me a tease! I mean really?!
Then the next day I get the following message which really sums up this disastrous train encounter.
‘Nice to see you last night! Hope you enjoyed our conversation as much as I did. As you can tell I’m on a bit of a journey these days and I hope you don’t feel misled by me meeting you in anyway despite not being that emotionally available beyond friends etc. Thought I’d also send you this in case you or your mum would like to use it:
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference.”
Have a great day ❤️’
Why do these things always happen to me!!!