With speed dating being an out and out disaster I guess it’s time to go back to the go to method of getting a date in this millennial era, dating apps. Now I am overly familiar with this form of dating, was a regular plenty of fish girl, back before apps were even a thing. But as a lot of you will agree over time each app becomes more and more disposable, used often as a way to kill a few hours on a boring Sunday afternoon. However, I am not a quitter and always believe in second chances (which is incidentally what got me back on the dating scene!) so here I am, back scrolling, swiping and judging on first appearances.
So the new app out there right now is hinge. From my first few weeks of using it I would say the positive is you have to invest in writing a profile, so (ever hopeful) it might attract the more serious dater.
Here goes nothing! I Managed to get conversations going with 2 guys at the same time. They had with very different stats and not exactly my usual type (bald head, tall, big muscles who usually turn out to be fuck boys!) With a lot of travel recently, 5 time zones in 2 months, it’s often tricky to fit in first dates, between jet lag, catching up with friends and the general life admin that seems to build up. My new strategy is if there’s potential for 2 dates but only one night, say yes to both and it’s more than likely one cancels (if not both)! Obviously, in this case both guys say yes and don’t cancel. Absolutely typical! So on a work night out in Amsterdam, I give my colleagues the task of picking between the two.
Do I go Ben 33, bald (my soft spot), marketing but short or Damien 42, meets my over 6 foot credentials, old school gent but 2 kids and a potential ex wife?
After dissecting their every answer and scrutinising each pose photo by photo the verdict was Ben;
Choice of venue: his choice, Charlotte Street Hotel, tick.
Arrival time: early but not too early, with a drink of my choice waiting, tick.
Seat choice: managed to get 2 seats, at the bar, my favourite first date position, tick.
Dress choice: made an effort but not try hard, tick.
So far so good! Then the chat begins. At first I couldn’t decide if I was being overly critical when he was droning on about his life in Australia, how he didn’t want to move back to the UK and then onto his difficult relationship with his mum (yes this was a first date?!) I put my best ‘I’m so interested’ face on and sipped on my gin cocktails hoping for a conversation turn. And as ever the alcohol definitely helped! Drinks turn into dinner and he gains a few points back by choosing Pescatori, a restaurant I’ve wanted to try for a while and my optimism is restored. And just at the point where I start to relax, it all seems to go wrong!
After finding common ground in people watching and trying to figure out if the couple behind us are also on a first date, the conversation takes a turn for the worse. Some comment leads me to casually reveal a few of my flaws of being blunt and impatient. Then my classic mouth vomit happens; I ask him what his flaws are. (Oops!) I mean obviously mixing the gin cocktails with the bottle of rosé made me forget all first date etiquette rules and the answer I got is where the argument began. Yes, I’m ashamed to say I managed to start an argument on a first date! However, his answer was very questionable.
Wait for it ….. his flaw was that he struggled to cuddle and kiss his mum! I mean, I didn’t really know where to go with that …. so to lighten the tone I said that I really love love and affection, and that’s when he turned on me! Apparently I’m a hypocrite, stubborn and confrontational! Not sure these are things any girl wants to hear, even in a long term relationship, let alone a first date! With that I ordered the bill and As the song goes another one bites the dust.
So maybe I make the wrong choice between Ben and Damian. And as my mum advises always have one in the waiting room! So time to give Damien a chance …….