So I’m back on hinge, swipe, swipe, swiping. And doesn’t it get depressing?! Anyway I’m sticking to my strategy of matching, a couple of back and forth messages and straight in with the ‘fancy and drink’. So this time I catch a cameraman living in east London called Jamie. He’s keen to meet that week, in a convenient location and takes charge of the meeting place, so I’m in. We meet on a rainy evening, which seems to be a constant of my first dates, in one of my favourite pubs and he instantly reminds me of one of my good friends in humour but a good looking version of and I’m instantly attracted to him. Well this makes a change! He’s self deprecating, quite charming and seems interested in me. The night continues at another pub and we both stumble merrily to the station where we have a cheeky snog and make plans for a second date.
And date 2 is where a few alarm bells ring but I definitely try to ignore them. So we are meeting on a Friday after work, prime time for a date 2. While having a few pre drinks with my work girls before meeting him, Jamie texts. He’s running late as he locked himself out of house that he shares with 6 others. My obvious suggestion is to call one of them, but he claims he has nobody’s number. Weird in itself as he has lived there over a year. Anyway as I fully prepare myself to be stood up, and obviously getting mad as I’ve shaved my legs this morning and bought a new top, he lets me know his landlord has let him in and he’s on route. Good news. I’m now well into my fourth aperol spritz and high on Friday night vibes but reluctantly tear myself away from my work bestie to go meet him down the road in a pub I’ve suggested.
As I’m merrily approaching said pub I see him standing outside under an umbrella, as it’s obviously raining again, with a glum look on his face. Oh great, just how I want to spend my Friday night. I’m greeting with ‘ oh it’s really busy in there’. Funny that, a Friday night in a central London pub and it’s busy?! What a shock. I calmly reassure him we can find another, when he announces he has a headache and doesn’t feel great. I usher him to Sainsbury’s, get some paracetamol and quick scour for the next bar. After telling him to wait to take the pills until he has some water, when I catch I’m trying to swallow them dry, we manage to fall upon a lovely cocktail bar with seats. Thank the Lord, he must have been looking down on me! Things seem to ease as the pills kick in and conversation starts flowing, I think the gins also helped. The original charm I saw from date one makes a reappearance and drinks turn into dinner and then more drinks. Overall I’d give date 2 a solid 7 out of 10 in true Len Goodman style and definitely up for a third.
Now those alarm bells from date 2 turn into high pitch sirens during date 3. I know everyone says you should give people a chance but the more chances I seem to give the more disastrous the dates get! I should have really guessed when the texts became few and far between and even when a Friday night date had been planned it wasn’t until that morning during work that the plan was confirmed. And by confirmed I mean a photo of an Eminem night at a bowl alley was sent to me. No explanation, just the photo and caption saying ‘random I know but I have free tickets’. Never a good way of impressing a girl. But in the name of trying my best I agree to the evening plans.
We meet in a sports pub (his choice) and conversation is really tough. I’m struggling to get any answers out of him apart from a yes or no. This is going to be a long night, wine is definitely in order. We continue to dinner at a Vietnamese (he only seems to eat eastern cuisine) and this is when his true colours shine brightly. We order food and have some drinks while we wait.
Now I’m not going to lie, it wasn’t the fastest service in the world, and as some of you know I’m not the most patient person myself but what happened next made me want to crawl under the table and hide. I can see Jamie is getting a bit aggravated that the food it taking a while so he calls over the waitress. I have no problem at all with complaining where appropriate, this was not appropriate. ‘Where’s our food?’ he asks. ‘Im not sure, let me find out’ off she strolls to the kitchen. Now I happen to be facing the kitchen so can see what has happened, our ticket has been dropped on the floor so isn’t even in the queue yet. She comes back and very casually says sorry, it won’t be long. This is when he looses it. ‘What do you mean, you don’t know where our food is? Get someone here who does know where it is now!’ I’m now cringing as the waitress comes back with ‘I was on my break!’ The whole restaurant is now looking at us and as she storms off, he turns to me and loudly declares she’s and f****** C***. Now that is a word I never use let alone want to hear come out of a man that I’ve know for nearly 3 weeks over some food that I’m not even fussed about eating. Mortified doesn’t cover it, especially when it comes to the end of the meal and I ask for the bill, to be told the whole thing is free!!! So anger management issues – tick.
And obviously as this a date that I’m on, it gets worse! He starts telling me he’s going to the opticians to get glasses for the first time, so I tell him I’m pretty blind but wear contacts. He asks me which type, which in the moment I thought was a funny question from someone that doesn’t wear them. Dailies I say, thinking to myself where is this going?! ‘Oh so you don’t care about the environment then?’ Sorry, pardon, what?! I am honestly very confused at this point. ‘You are contributing to the plastic in the oceans, throwing your contacts out everyday.’ Now don’t get me wrong, I have started to be more conscious of my plastic intake and yes I have watched blue planet, but is he taking the piss?! Me wearing daily lenses is the reason the dolphins are dying?! I mean really! And as for this being appropriate date conversation that’s a whole other issue.
As I still have mastered the skill of ending a date early, we continue the evening at the bowling alley. Thank god we are not actually bowling, just having a few drinks at the Eminem hip hop night. Luckily there’s table tennis which is one sport I can actually do so that killed some time. And just to finish off this fantastic date with a bang, when we see a lot of homeless people on the way to the station he declares how they all need to go back to their own country and he would kick them before giving them any money! Good one Jamie, way to win a girl’s heart. Definitely need a break from these apps!